The Happiness Plan

Some of you have heard this story before, others may be hearing it for the first time, but I think it’s important to start at the beginning. It’s not the most glamorous tale, but it’s what got us to where we are today.

I keep hearing “you’re so lucky” or “you’re living the dream,” but how did I get here? Well, what people don’t know (or maybe I haven’t shared enough) is that I cried every single day for years. YEARS!

The Short Version: I was so stressed out by work that I couldn’t be the patient, graceful mom I wanted to be as my kids transitioned to adulthood. I was emotionally and physically unavailable, and it drove me to completely restructure my life. It was a messy, vulnerable, and often brutal journey for this Type A personality, but honestly, it was one of the best choices I’ve made.

The Long Version: In 2012 when Washington legalized adult-use cannabis. I was pregnant with our second child, Cool, when my husband came home with the idea of getting a legal cannabis license. With our experience in small business and growing medicinally, I thought, “Why not?” Boy, was I wrong.

Weed. Weed. Weed.

For the next 10 years, we poured everything into that business—60% of my time went into policy work, advocating for a new regulated industry. The first eight years were tough but exciting. Then COVID hit, cannabis became an "essential business," and we thought we had made it. But in 2021 when the government stopped paying $600 per week to be unemployed, sales tanked, and they still haven’t recovered.

I had been on a low dose of antidepressants for five years, but I was still a mess—crying daily, snapping at my kids. I knew I needed to be at my best for their teenage years, but I wasn’t even close. I felt guilty, stressed, unheard, and overwhelmed, and it was all adding up.

Ugly crying. In the car. Again.

At the beginning of 2022 I went to my naturopathic doctor and requested to stop taking the antidepressants. I felt that antidepressants were supposed to be a tool to get me through a tough time, but they were now being used as a crutch and the environment, the tough time I was creating for myself, wasn't changing. Furthermore, since the drugs made me more even keel than my normal dynamic personality, I felt like no one was listening to me when I said that the current situation wasn't working for me . In other words, I needed to freak the fuck out in order for real change to happen. And boy did I.

Over the first 6 months of 2022, I had 3 "breakthroughs", which are really just "breakdowns" that I have re-branded to sound positive. The last one was a doozy. I had a total meltdown over something minor (because that’s how it works), and I sobbed for hours. Somehow, I got myself to the shower, where I just curled in on myself on the shower floor, cold water running over me, hoping to get some element of composure. I scarred the shit out of my family. But it worked. After I calmed down, I thought, “Well, this is obviously not working—what am I going to do about it?” So, I created a spreadsheet (I know, weird, right?) and wrote down everything I thought would bring me joy. Some were big, some were small, but they were all things I needed to feel better. It looked like this:

Screen shot of my happiness plan

I narrowed it down to three non-negotiables (highlighted in green):

1. To decrease stress; increase patience

2. Financial security (which at the most basic level, meant a paycheck I could cash"

3. To travel 3 months out of the year

Then I dug deeper; what does that mean? How could I make that happen? What does that look like? What needs to be in place for this to happen? I ended up creating my "Happiness Execution Plan," a flow chart of how to make it all work.. Lots of "if->then".

It was clear my life wasn’t aligned with these goals. Major changes were needed, and I had to bring my family along for the ride. I often joke that it felt like I was the coach of a football team, and one day I came in and said, “We’re not playing football anymore. We’re doing curling! FOLLOW ME!” My poor family was in for a wild ride, but thankfully they trusted me and they had seen first hand that what I was doing wasn't working.

They see the repercussions too, not just in our travel adventures, but in my level headed ability to handle situations that life throws. Cool said the other day "Mama, I can't remember the last time you yelled at us." And even Rad mentioned that out of everyone in our family, I was the most calm and level headed. ME! As a mama, my heart is melting...

Rocking Glacier National Park. All smiles.

The Happiness Execution Plan is still my guide. It’s taken years to put the pieces together, but it keeps me focused and helps me avoid the shiny distractions that don’t align with my happiness goals.

So, that’s the long story of how we got to where we are now—traveling and living the life we dreamed of.

If any of this resonates with you, just know that you can do it too. You are in the drivers seat of your life, and if it's not working for you, only you can change it. Happy to talk and share my templates, if you want some support or encouragement.